Flemo 4ever!

My favourite sportsman, Stephen Fleming, celebrates his birthday 2moro (well, in about 3 minutes' time, really). 1 April. How it came about that he rose to the top of my perve ladder I have no idea. One day he was just there. On top.

It must have started in New Zealand and it must have had something to do with or around cricket, since, for those of you who are going "huh? who?", Stephen is the captain of the BlackCaps, the New Zealand cricket team.

We have had a few near misses over the years, Flemo and I. In Hastings I was all geared up to go and see him (and his team, of course) play the South Africans in Napier, 20km down the road. Then, I got called up for jury duty. Lucky me, my name was not called and the relief was great. However, the judge changed her mind and called the whole bunch of us into the big courtroom and a new selection was made. This time I was not so lucky. Rather than perving at Flemo, I would be listening to witnesses and lawyers in a murder case. So, I went back to the office and gave my tickets to my friend Abby. Who subsequently took her friend Penny to the cricket. The next morning I ducked into the office before I went off to the court. Everyone was crowded around my desk, Abby at the front. She told me to sit and started telling her story:
Yes, they went to the cricket the previous day. Yes, it was great. They also went to the local watering hole afterwards (the flash one, by the marina) and there they were: ALL THE BLACKCAPS, including Flemo. So, she tells me, she shouldered her way past hotties like Chris Cairnes and Daniel Vittori straight up to Stephen Fleming. She then proceeds to tell him my story, how I wanted to be there, but ended up on jury duty, handed her the tickets, etc. etc. Do you know what that man does? He who does not know me from Adam? He asks for a piece of paper (which was produced as a pharmacy receipt from Penny's handbag) and writes to me:
Dear Rene
Sorry I missed you.
Keep well.
Regards
Stephen Fleming (signed, of course, I am paraphrasing)

So, with a big TA-DA! Abby handed me the note. Man, was I over the moon. It was a big day in general, that day, because that is also the day I heard I was going to be interviewed for the job in Seymour, Australia - which I got.

Come Seymour, come another excursion to the Telstra Dome (Docklands Stadium) to watch the BlackCaps take on the mighty Australia. I have a banner that says "Flemo 4ever" - black ink on a pink background. All the way from Seymour to Melbourne (about 97kms) I have to endure jibes, snotty remarks, etc. etc. from the Eastern Hill Cricket Club members in the bus. And also subtle comments from my friend Robyn, although she is a bit more tactful. One other lone Kiwi in the bus, came to Aussie 15 years ago and is not really comfortable to be associated with NZ anymore.

Have you ever had that feeling that you are totally alone in the world? That no-one believes what you believe and no-one supports anything you do? That is how it feels if you cheer for the BlackCaps in the Docklands Stadium while they play Australia in an OD cricket test. But, as luck would have it and the gods of cricket looked away, NZ won the Aussies with one run, no wickets in hand.

Now, do you know how it feels when you are bursting to tell the whole world about your good fortune? You want to sing from the rooftops? You are the only one walking around with a massive smile and everyone else is frowing ? That is how it feels when the BlackCaps win the Aussies in Docklands Stadium. On our way out of the stadium a very gay and friendly man approaches me: Can I please have your sign? I ask him why he would like it. He answers that he thinks it is cool and would like to have it to wave around. So, I hand it over. My point was made, the BlackCaps won and Flemo would still be 4ever.

The road back to Seymour seems very long for my fellow travellers. I try to engage in some banter and discussion, but every single Eastern Hill cricket club member pretend to be asleep or on the phone. The lone Kiwi pulls me aside at the all nighter. I honestly did not think they had it in them, he says. I ask: How can you doubt Fleming as captain?

The Aussies crow as winners, but they are rotten losers.

I saw Flemo again recently, in Melbourne. The BlackCaps lost that game, but never mind. I am, to be honest, not really there for the cricket.

You have a very happy birthday today, Stephen Fleming. I am sure we'll meet each other for real one day. I do not have a clue what I will say to you, but I do appreciate your sportsmanship, not to mention your looks.